When Thoughts Become Weapons

The Subtle Violence We Inflict on Ourselves & Others

Let's kick things off with a couple of personal stories.

These stories might strike a chord with you. They might remind you of things you have done or said yourself. And it’s okay. We are all in this together.

---

Scene 1: The Parking Lot Showdown

Picture this: I'm in a grocery store parking lot a few days ago, minding my own business, when some dude decides to rewrite the rules of the road.

You know those helpful arrows painted on the ground? The ones meant to guide us all in a harmonious flow of traffic? Yeah, well, this guy clearly missed that memo.

Now, I get it. We've all been tempted to ignore those arrows at some point (and okay.. I have). But this parking lot is so narrow it is practically a one-way street! And this dude was not about to let a little thing like common sense get in his way.

So there I was, forced to swerve my car like I was auditioning for a Fast and Furious sequel just to avoid a head-on collision with Captain Chaos.

And you know what? I'm proud to say I didn’t even flip him off.

But... let's just say a colorful stream of insults may have escaped my lips. Look, I was already having a less-than-stellar day, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

No one heard my outburst. No outward hostility, just a little internal venting session.

---

---

Scene 2: Brain Rehab Brain Drain

Now, let's shift gears for a moment.

Recovering from my accident has been... well, let's just say it's been a journey. Some days, the simplest tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest. Injuring your brain is no joke, folks.

Last week at rehab, I found myself wobbling on this special cushion, its bumpy surface designed to challenge my balance and make my brain work overtime. So far, so good. Relatively speaking.

Then they hand me a tennis racket. Okay, I can handle that. Next, they tell me to balance two tennis balls on the racket logo. Alright, challenge accepted. I carefully place the fuzzy yellow balls, my hand trembling slightly.

Then, they hit me with basic math problems.

"If you have 5 quarters, 3 dimes, 7 nickels, and 9 pennies, how much change do you have?"

Normally, this would be a breeze for me. But on this day? My brain was a foggy mess. My migraine was already severe. The numbers swirled and danced before my eyes, refusing to add up.

On the outside, I probably just looked like I was deep in thought (and maybe a little wobbly, considering I fell off the cushion twice).

But on the inside? Oh boy. It was a whole different story.

• “What are you, stupid?” The voice in my head sneered.

• "We're just talking about spare change, Alex, get it together." Frustration clawed at my chest.

• "Who will you be if you can’t even do basic math?” A wave of fear washed over me, the uncertainty of my future looming large.

And those were just the kinder thoughts swirling around in my head.

With a pounding migraine, a wave of dismay, and a crushing sense of failure washing over me, I finally let the tennis balls drop. They hit the floor with a soft thump, echoing the defeat in my heart.

"Can I... can I have a... a break?" I stammered, my voice betraying the mental overload.

I slumped into the nearest chair, pressing my palms against my eyes. Partly to ease the pressure in my head, partly to hide the tears welling up.

---

Non-Violence: It's More Than Just Violence Against Others

So, those two scenes I shared? They got me thinking... a lot.

What does it really mean to be non-violent? It's easy to pat ourselves on the back when we haven't physically harmed anyone. But what about the subtle ways we inflict pain – on ourselves and others – through our thoughts and emotions?

It’s a tricky question, one that’s been swirling around in my head this week as I’ve been revisiting the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

"Ahimsa," or non-violence, is the first of the Yamas—a set of five guidelines that help us navigate our relationship with the world around us.

On the surface, most of us probably think we're pretty non-violent. We don't go around punching people in the face or anything.

But when you dig a little deeper, things get more complicated. Patanjali drops this truth bomb:

“Negative thoughts and emotions are violent, in that they cause injury to yourself and others, regardless of whether they are performed by you, done by others, or you permit them to be done.”¹  

Ouch.

Suddenly, my little parking lot outburst and those self-deprecating thoughts during rehab don't seem so innocent. They're like tiny cuts, slowly chipping away at my well-being and my relationships.

Patanjali goes on to say:

“They arise from greed, anger, or delusion regardless of whether they arise from mild, moderate, or excessive emotional intensity. They result in endless misery and ignorance.”

Double ouch.

So, by my own admission, maybe I'm not as non-violent as I'd like to believe. Maybe violence has infiltrated my life on a much more subtle level.

And if I'm being honest, I bet I'm not the only one.

How often do we berate ourselves with negative self-talk? How often do we harbor resentment or judgment towards others? These may not be physical acts of violence, but they create a ripple effect of pain and suffering.

It's time to take a closer look at the violence lurking within our own minds and hearts. It's time to embrace the challenge of true Ahimsa.

---

Why Yogic Philosophy? (And Why Non-Violence Matters, Even if You're Not Religious)

Okay, I hear you. “Yogic philosophy? Sounds a bit woo-woo, Alex.”

But here’s the thing: I dig it because it's more spiritual than religious. And while I have nothing against religion, I find that these principles just click with me. They teach us about wholeness and connection, no matter what your beliefs are.

And it turns out that the concept of non-violence (or causing no harm) isn't just a yogic thing. It's woven into the fabric of countless traditions around the world. Check it out:

• Buddhism: Their first precept is all about not harming living beings—physically, verbally, or mentally.

• Jainism: Ahimsa is their jam. They take non-violence to the extreme, extending it to plants and even microorganisms.

• Christianity: The Golden Rule and "turn the other cheek" are all about compassion and forgiveness.

• Islam: The Quran emphasizes mercy and forbids killing innocent people.

• Taoism: They're all about going with the flow and avoiding forceful actions.

• Stoicism: These guys focus on living in harmony with nature, which includes being compassionate towards others.

So basically, non-violence is kind of a big deal, no matter where you look.

And here's the takeaway: it's not just about what we do but also about how we think and feel. It's about recognizing that our thoughts and emotions have a ripple effect, impacting not only ourselves but those around us.

Okay, but what's in it for us?

Cultivating a non-violent mindset isn't just about being a good person (although that's a pretty awesome side effect). It can also lead to some serious benefits:

• Deeper connections: When we approach others with compassion and understanding, we build stronger, more meaningful relationships

• Improved mental health: Letting go of anger and resentment frees us from the heavy burden of negativity.

• Greater inner peace: By practicing self-compassion, we create a safe and nurturing space within ourselves.

As Patanjali writes, “By abiding in nonviolence, one's presence creates an atmosphere in which hostility ceases.”²

So, how do we put this into practice?

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Cultivate compassion: Next time you're tempted to judge someone, try to see the world from their perspective. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

• Practice mindfulness: Meditation, yoga, or even just taking a few deep breaths can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.

• Choose forgiveness: It doesn't mean condoning someone's actions, but it does mean freeing yourself from the grip of anger.

• Embrace kindness: Small acts of kindness can brighten someone's day (and yours!).

• Practice self-compassion: Talk to yourself like you would talk to a dear friend. Be gentle, be understanding, and be forgiving.

In short, non-violence in thought and emotion is about creating a peaceful, compassionate mindset. It's about honoring the self and choosing kindness, forgiveness, and self-love. And trust me, it's a journey worth taking.

---

So, Are You Really Non-Violent? (Spoiler: It's Complicated)

Okay, let's have an honest conversation.

I'm guessing most of us reading this aren't exactly out there throwing punches or starting bar fights. But what if we expanded our definition of violence to include our thoughts and emotions? The ones we direct at others and ourselves?

Suddenly, things get a little messy, don't they?

Here's the challenge: I invite you to take a deep dive into your own mind and ask yourself these questions:

• Inner Critic: If violence included your "self-talk" and that constant inner monologue, how much violence is actually present in your life? Are you your own worst critic? Do you beat yourself up over every little mistake?

• Inner Cheerleader: Imagine you're trying a new sport today (or maybe just attempting to parallel park). How supportive would your inner cheerleader be? Would they be shouting words of encouragement or whispering doubts in your ear?

• Road Rage: When another driver does something utterly ridiculous (like, say, driving the wrong way in a parking lot), how does your inner voice react? Is it a calm, collected response or a full-blown internal rant? (I'll be the first to admit mine can get a little... creative).

• Self-Compassion: And when you can no longer do something as well as you used to (thanks, brain injury!), how do your thoughts and emotions respond? Are you kind and patient with yourself, or do you spiral into self-criticism and frustration?

Take some time to really sit with these questions. Meditate on them. Challenge your initial answers.

You might be surprised by the insights you uncover.

And hey, as you ponder all of this, remember good ol' Ahimsa. Non-violence, even in our thoughts and emotions, is a powerful practice.

---

So, how can we embrace a truly non-violent life – one that extends beyond our actions to encompass our thoughts and emotions?

This September, I'm inviting you to join me on a journey of exploration. We'll dive deeper into the practice of non-violence³, uncovering its hidden depths and its power to transform our lives.

Now, let's be clear: I'm no yogic philosophy guru. I'm just a fellow traveler on this path, a "friend in yoga," if you will. I stumble, I make mistakes, and I'm constantly learning.

But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? We're all in this together, figuring it out as we go.

Remember, non-violence is more than just avoiding physical harm. It's about cultivating compassion, mindfulness, forgiveness, and self-love. It's about recognizing the interconnectedness of all beings and choosing kindness in every thought, word, and action.

So, are you ready to embark on this journey with me? Let's ponder, consider, and share our experiences along the way. Leave a comment below, share your thoughts on social media, or simply follow along as I document my own journey.

Together, let's explore the transformative power of Ahimsa and discover the peace that lies within.

---

1. These translations come from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Mukunda Stiles. Sutra 2.34.

2. These translations come from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Mukunda Stiles. Sutra 2.35.

3. Important note: I will not be exploring the dietary aspects of Ahimsa. They are important but not in scope for what I am exploring this September.